By Cody Clark
Here’s a sentence you probably didn’t expect to read today: The cleanest Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser wagon you’ve ever laid eyes on. Well. This is it. For just under $8,000 here on Craigslist you can own your very own eight-passenger wagon that costs $110 to fill up. Hey, your drive home may be expensive, but at least you’ll be super comfortable.
It’s so… bubbly. And look at the pig nose. Those sawblade wheels are… cool? The front of this car looks like a retirement home. But the sweeping rear end almost makes the car seem fast. It must be vestiges of ‘60s wagons reaching through time, this is a Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser in B-Body garb, right? Something about that giant back end and sloped roof whispers ‘drag wagon.’
The seller notes that this car is one of around 8,000 ever made. By American standards, that’s impressively rare. It would certainly be refreshing to be one of one at a car show. You’d just have to get a venue to accept it. Without a doubt this would take the blue ribbon in the survivor class at next year’s Pebble Beach.
The seller claims this car sports eight seats’ worth of blue leather, but it sure wouldn’t be hard to sneak another six or seven friends into the drive-in. Oh, the drive in is gone? Fine, go have fun at the roller rink then. Your least favorite friends will still look cool rolling up in the rear-facing seats out back. The car is so wide that there’s a wide strip of carpet between the door and the driver’s footwell. Can you say Mercedes 300SL Gullwing?
The engine puts 170 horsepower to the rear wheels through a complex network of gears, ball bearings and tubes across a quarter mile span. The seller notes that the radio doesn’t work, so this car is just begging you to make that 5-liter grumble like a racecar. Though it may not go like one without substantial investment.
The seller certainly doesn’t lie, this does look like the cleanest 1991 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser in modern American memory. If you have money to blow on nearly 150 POUNDS of gas on a family road trip or you’re looking to camp out under the stars, this Custom Cruiser is the answer to all your prayers. Does this car make you want to hit the gas or is it a hard pass?
